


Savior

by Masonjar191



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depressed bruce, Fat Thor, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, but it's 4, depressed Thor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 22:18:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19485154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masonjar191/pseuds/Masonjar191
Summary: 4 times Bruce was saved from committing suicide, and one time he saved someone else





	Savior

**Author's Note:**

> DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL/STRUGGLE WITH DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS. I HAVE SOFTER THOR/BRUCE FICS ON THE WAY AND ON MY PROFILE.

1\. Tony- 2013  
It wasn’t the first time Bruce had tried to kill himself. After all, he put a gun in his mouth, only for the other guy to spit it out.  
If shooting himself wouldn’t work, maybe he’d make himself bleed out. Radioactive blood be damned, he was sick of being considered a monster, only useful when he was green.  
Bruce held the blade, marveling at the cleanness, the shiny surface, his face reflecting back at him. Tear-stained, red, puffy. Dark circles underlined his bloodshot eyes. Right, he’d been up for three days working on an experiment. ‘Your final experiment’ Hulk said in the back of his mind.  
He pressed the blade into his skin, wincing slightly at the sting of it cutting layer by layer of skin. One cut. Two. Five. Some blood fell onto the sink, staining it red. He made more on the other arm. Six. Ten. He set the blade down briefly and admired his work. Soon it’d be all over, the pain, the name-calling. He heard Tony’s voice, far away, asking a question he couldn’t hear. Probably to another Avenger. He’d never ask Bruce for anything.  
Bruce took the hem of his sweater, soft against his shaking fingers, and raised it, pulling his bleeding arms from it. He grabbed the blade again and made a few more cuts on his stomach, his chest, his biceps. Blood ran down his body, staining his jeans. He kicked them off, standing in his boxers. He used the opportunity to leave a few cuts on his thighs, before returning to his wrists. The vein was right there, if he pressed a little deeper…  
“Bruce, you in there?” Tony called from outside the door. “Dinner’s ready! Natasha made lasagna! I know you love her lasagna!”  
Bruce froze. If he answered, he would be expected to eat, he would come out, bloody and ashamed. Stained clothes, stained floor, stained sink. He pressed against the vein, gritting his teeth to suppress a scream.  
“Bruce? This is the only place we haven’t checked for you, buddy. We’re worried, you were in your lab for three days then you disappeared, no food, no sleep. You’re gonna kill yourself!” Yeah, no shit. That was what Bruce wanted. Soon, he would begin to feel lightheaded, he’d collapse, then when the others found him, he’d be gone. Like his mother, his sweet mother. He wanted to be with her, away from his dad, who was burning in Hell. He hoped all the innocent people he’d killed as the Hulk would be left out of his Judgement; he wasn’t himself at the time.  
“Okay, Bruce, either you’re ignoring me or you’re not there,” Tony said. “I’m gonna leave.” Thank You!  
However, Tony hadn’t left. JARVIS had told him Bruce was locked in the bathroom, doing what he didn’t know. So, he decided to sit in front of the door until Bruce opened it himself, or he heard noise.  
Bruce’s head was going fuzzy. He felt the blood leaving the cuts, running down, dripping onto the floor. He used his last breath to make one last cut before he fell, hitting his head on the counter.  
BANG. A loud noise came from inside the bathroom. ‘He better not have a gun’ Tony thought, even though it didn’t sound like a gunshot. “JARVIS, unlock the bathroom door.”  
“Already done, Sir,” The AI said. Tony opened the door, looking down at the floor to see the bleeding, unconscious Bruce. The razor blade lay, stained with fresh blood, next to him.  
“Shit! Bruce!” In addition to many small cuts from the blade, he had a large gash where Tony assumed, he had hit his head. His right arm was bent at a weird angle where he hit the floor, clearly broken. “JARVIS, call 911, we need an ambulance at Avengers Tower, Bruce Banner is unconscious and bleeding from several cuts and a gash on his forehead!”  
“Tony, Bruce, c’mon before Steve eats it a- what the fuck?” Clint exclaimed once he saw Tony giving CPR to Bruce several minutes later. His hands were covered in blood.  
“Oh, thank god, he’s breathing,” Tony said after giving his two rescue breaths. The Scientist’s chest was now visibly rising, although blood was still escaping from the wounds. “Note to self: never leave Bruce alone again.”  
Two EMTs with a gurney entered, pushing the men away to get to Bruce. “He wasn’t breathing, but I did CPR. All of us are certified,” Tony said as he pulled out his Basic First Aid Identifier.  
“Thank you, Mr. Stark. Hopefully Dr. Banner will be okay,” one of the EMTs said as she pulled the gurney away. 

One week later, Bruce sat in his Hospital room, still on suicide watch but stable. Bandages covered his body, stitches closing the gash as well as some of the larger cuts. A cast, bright green, kept his broken arm in place as it healed. He was pumped full of pain meds and antidepressants, pretty much high out of his mind.  
“You scared the shit out of us, Banner!” Nat muttered as she and the other Avengers arrived for visitation hours. Once he was shown that he didn’t have suicidal thoughts, he would be discharged with a warning to keep sharp objects away. Steve already took care of it, and Tony locked the door to anyplace they could be found for Bruce.  
“Don’t ever do that again,” Thor whispered, rubbing his hand, one of the few areas free of cuts. The God’s other hand ran through his long blond hair- it was obvious the Asgardian had been crying for his suicidal boyfriend.  
“I won’t, baby,” Bruce muttered. ‘Not like that. Hurt too much.’ He thought. ‘No guarantee it’ll work.’

2\. Clint- 2013  
‘Okay, shooting myself and bleeding out don’t work,’ Bruce thought once he was released from the hospital with antidepressants and an order for the other Avengers to keep a close eye on the Scientist. That meant not spending more than a few minutes by himself, especially where sharp objects or guns were kept.  
Bruce stood on the roof. It was warm that evening, being mid-September. His sleeves were loose against his biceps. They weren’t bulging like Thor’s, who easily filled out this shirt. His jeans, also Thor’s, had to be rolled up several times at the ankle. Thor always thought it was cute when Bruce wore his clothes, but Bruce just felt small compared to the Asgardian. Everyone on this team- sans Tony, who was about the same height- were tall and muscular, while Bruce was short and thin. It worked in the lab, sure, but when he wasn’t the Hulk, who was huge and strong, he was useless. Even Clint had use, even though he wasn’t a God and had no powers, he could hit any target. Nat was a skilled spy, Tony had his suit, Steve had super strength and speed, Thor could channel lightning, and Bruce was a nerd who just so happened to turn into a monster when he got angry.  
‘You’re pretty far up. Wonder what’ll happen if you just walked off the edge?’ His mind said in that ever-mocking tone. So soon? If he failed, he’d surely be put in a Mental Hospital for good, seeing as he had two suicide attempts in as many months.  
He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to die. Bruce had wanted this every day since the accident in that lab, the want intensifying with every incident, every life taken. He’d been the Hulk for seven years now, nearly eight. Every one of which had taken a severe toll on his mental health. He was surprised he had only tried to kill himself twice.  
Bruce looked up at the sky again. Even in the air-polluted New York City, the night sky was still marked by some bright stars, which the Scientist attributed to being so far up. 93 stories if he recalled correctly.  
He decided to sit on the edge for a while. Watch his feet hang over the edge, over the traffic far below. Hundreds of people who neither knew nor cared about the Scientist above them. Yes, he was one of the smartest people on the planet, with seven Ph.D.’s to his name, but that didn’t mean he was awfully well known except for the Other-Guy. No one cared about him.  
“Where is Bruce?” Thor called many floors below to the other Avengers. “I swear, Stark, if you find him bleeding out in a bathroom again,”  
“Mr. Banner is currently on the roof,” JARVIS said.  
“Fuck, he better not be getting ready to jump,” Thor swore. His eyes filled up at the thought of losing another oved one. His mum and Loki, hopefully Bruce wouldn’t join them. He couldn’t bear to watch another loved one die.  
“I’ll go up and check on him!” Clint said with purpose. He ran to the elevator with a bow and his quiver of arrows. “C’mon, stupid elevator!”  
Bruce looked down once more. Would it be so bad to slip, to hit the ground with a satisfying SPLAT? He scooted further to the edge just as the Elevator pinged and Clint ran towards Banner with fear in his eyes at seeing the suicidal man that close to the edge. “Shit! Banner, don’t jump! Thor is bawling his eyes out at the thought of losing you, like he did his mother. Don’t fucking do it!”  
The words almost hit Banner too late, as he gripped the ledge tightly while the rest of his body hung from it. “Clint, help!”  
Clint used the bit of rope he kept in his quiver in case he needed an arrow to climb up and tied it around his waist. He tied the other end to an arrow and shot it at the nearest sturdy fixture, before lowering himself slowly down the side of the Tower. “Banner, take my hand. I’m strong enough to lift us both up.”  
Bruce let out a whimper as he held onto the Marksman for dear life. Literally. ‘Don’t Hulk out or you’ll crush him.’  
With a grunt, the two Avengers were safely back on the roof. “Don’t fucking do that again,” Clint threatened as he pulled the rope out of the knot. “Now, apologize to your boyfriend for scaring him. He’s a fucking God and he’s crying like one of my little ones.”  
The first thing Bruce heard when the elevator opened on the communal floor was a choked sob as Tony said, “I’m sure he’s fine, Point Break.”  
“Thor?” Bruce whispered. “I-I’m so so-sorry!”  
“My love! You’re safe! You asshole, never do that again!”  
“I won’t.” Bruce said into the God’s chest.  
“You said that last time. You have to mean it,” Thor cried.  
“Maybe I’ll show it to you,” Bruce said.  
“Get a room!” Tony teased as he threw a pillow at the pair.  
“Hey, I just almost died, have some decency!”  
“Don’t fucking joke about that! I don’t know why we didn’t get you a therapist after the last time, but you sure as hell are now.”

3\. Steve- 2015  
“For today’s session, I want you to make a pro’s and cons list of your life, as it is at this current moment. I know you’ve been feeling a bit down lately,” said Bruce’s therapist. Bruce opened his notebook that he kept for this reason and flipped to a new page. Drawings from the past few years, as well as similar lists, rants, and notes on the day-to-day life of Bruce Banner filled the pages.  
He had been seeing the therapist, Alison, every week since his last suicide attempt. And yes, he still had bad days, but he hadn’t tried to kill himself since then, so he was making progress, the Scientist hypothesized.  
Pros: he scribbled. I am a world-renowned scientist with seven Ph.D.’s. I have an amazing boyfriend. I have a stable living space, I am healthy, I am an Avenger. I saved the world multiple times. Cons: I turn into a monster if I get angry, I helped create a robot that could have destroyed the world  
Bruce paused. Was that it? Only 2 cons? He went back to an earlier page and saw rows upon rows of cons, about how he hated himself and his appearance, how no one would ever love him.  
He passed the notebook to Alison.  
“Wow, you’ve come so far! Only 2 bad things you could say about yourself! I can’t believe it, Dr. Banner, I am really proud of you.” She smiled, not a pity smile, a real one, he could tell by the way her eyes lit up with praise. Too bad it wouldn’t last once she got word of what he was planning.  
*Time skip to that evening*  
“My love, Alison told me how well you are doing!” Thor exclaimed. “I am so fucking proud of you.”  
“Language,” Steve muttered. “But no, really, great job, Bruce! Two years ago, I was scared to go to DC because I didn’t know if you’d be stable, especially after that whole situation with Thor’s family and Tony’s panic attacks. But, look at you, you saved Sokovia!”  
‘After I damn well nearly destroyed it’ Bruce thought bitterly. “Yeah, I did!”  
“How long have you been off your meds?” asked Tony. “Alison said she took you off of them. You’re lucky. I tried to go off for a few days and ended up crying myself to sleep. Right back on I went. Stupid PTSD.”  
“How many days was it, six?” Bruce asked Thor. He had to be honest, even if the suicidal thoughts had returned, he was glad to be off, the drugs made his brain all fuzzy. He’d rather have a clear mind at the cost of some of his old tendencies any day.  
“Yes, six days. I must say, you are doing much better than I had thought when you brought up the change,” Thor chuckled. If only he knew.  
Bruce often got up in the middle of the night and went to the roof to cry. Cry over the abuse he had suffered, over Ultron, over the beast he was inside. Cry while constructing his plan. Writing his notes to each of the Avengers, to Alison. Talking to his mother in Heaven. Even if she didn’t answer back.  
Then, he’d tuck all of his supplies away, dry his eyes, then climb back into bed, hoping his teammates didn’t know. Truth be told, he hadn’t been taking medication for weeks. He hated himself on them and off.  
“I’m feeling a bit tired,” he announced a few hours later after sharing a few beers with the others.  
“Let me escort you to bed, my love. I wish to congratulate you,” Thor smiled, his intentions showing only to Bruce.  
When they reached the bedroom, Thor took no time in stripping of his clothing, his dick rock hard. Kissing Bruce with one hand in his curly locks while the other jerked him off, Bruce’s last few hours were spent in bliss. Too bad Thor would wake to an empty bed and a note explaining Bruce’s true feelings.  
“I love you,” Bruce whispered to his asleep lover some time later, grabbing the note from his dresser, sat underneath some clothing. He deposited the other notes in the common area, pleased that the other avengers were asleep (or so he thought). He took one last trip to the roof to pick up the final piece of the puzzle, a rope, before exiting to his lab. It took little time for him to set it up, after hours spent learning the knot.  
“Damn, I hope this works,” Bruce sighed as he got ready to kick the chair underneath him. 

Steve had seen Bruce sneaking around. He took the stairs down to the lab a few minutes after Bruce left the common area, not wanting to scare the man. He had been watching the footage from the roof for weeks, accidentally coming across it one day when he went back to delete footage of a prank he had played on Tony. Seeing the practice nooses, the notes, the tears. All the times Steve had wished as a young man for one of his many ailments to take him, to end his suffering, he had never contemplating hanging himself. Suicide, he thought, was never the answer, even for the depressed Gamma specialist, he thought. After he had admitted back in 2012 to trying to shoot himself, or when he swallowed the pills, or slashed his wrists, Steve had willed his friend would get better. He had foolishly believed he had. Everyone did.  
Steve entered right as the man kicked the chair. “Bruce!” He yelled, sprinting to Dr. Banner. He grabbed a knife and cut the rope, wincing as he heard the thud. He hoped the noose hadn’t snapped Bruce’s neck.  
It hadn’t, thank god. Only some bruising, although it was appearing quick. He cut the remaining rope away, checking Bruce to see if he was breathing. It was faint, but present. He lifted his unconscious body and willed the elevator to open faster, so Bruce could live. “FRIDAY, call 911, now!”

Bruce heard a faint beeping, although all around him was darkness. “Bruce, please wake up, my love. I thought you were better! Why did you lie??” A voice cried. Thor. It sounded like the God was sobbing.  
‘I am alive’ he thought, before he tried to open his eyes, to move. ‘Thor?’  
“Buddy, Bruce, it's been four days since I found you. Thankfully you were still breathing, it hadn’t snapped your neck. I called for help. If you’re there, please, wake up.”  
“I am awake, you bastard.” He said, although Steve nor Thor reacted. “Oh god, I’m in a fucking coma.”  
Bruce willed for hours to wake himself. Finally, Thor kissed him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, love. Visiting hours are over.”  
Bruce tried to kiss back with all his might. “Steve, he kissed back, I swear!” Holy shit. Bruce slowly opened his eyes.  
“You’re just imagining it, Th- Holy fucking shit,” Steve swore. “Bruce!”  
“Language,” Bruce replied weakly.  
“alright fellas, maybe he’ll wake up tomorr- Hello Dr. Banner, what a surprise!” A nurse appeared, obviously shocked that the man who had lay comatose five minutes ago was awake.  
“That’s what I thought. Man, I have rotten luck.”  
“Okay, my love, back on your medication you go,” Thor retorted. “Damn you.”  
“How do you feel?” the nurse asked.  
“Not as dead as I wanted to be.”  
“Yep, Bruce, you’re going right back on.” Steve sighed. “Don’t ever scare us like that again. I mean it!”

4\. Natasha- 2018  
“I can’t believe half the universe is fucking dead!” Bruce ranted a few days after the Snap to Thor. “You couldn’t have aimed your axe a little better?”  
“Did anyone else attack him? No! Not you, you were too busy having a thing!” Thor retorted, thunder booming in the background. His eyes filled with lightning.  
“Oh, you’re blaming me. I can’t help Hulk doesn’t want to come out!”  
“Why the hell wouldn’t I? I wish Thanos would have killed you!” Thor regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth. “Shit, I didn’t mean that!”  
“Fuck you, Thor. Fuck you. That’s really low, telling a suicidal man he should be dead. Fuck this,” Bruce cried. “We’re done. Guess what, you asshole, I wish he had snapped me away too! There, I said it. I wish I had died in the Snap, or any of the other times I tried to kill myself!” Bruce ran, sprinting back to his room, well, his and Thor’s room. Fuck, he couldn’t escape the God. He had nowhere to go, his whole life revolved around Thor.  
He thought back to his days on the run, from Ross and the US government, scared that he was going to be captured and experimented on. Was there anywhere he could go, to escape from Thor? He didn’t know how hellish the world had become, with half of the world suddenly disappearing. God damn, he wished he could have as well.  
Bruce hastily packed a few clothes and a pistol and left the Compound. Pulling out his phone, he called an Uber to get him the fuck away from here. 

Thor stormed into his room as soon as Bruce left. Changing into some athletic clothing, he wrapped his shaking fists with tape before picking up Stormbreaker and going to the training facility. Setting a playlist of songs he and Bruce had made that reminded them of each other, he punched, kicked, swung his axe at everything in sight, crying at the stinging words he and Bruce had exchanged. Bruce was his everything, why had he said those things? Bruce hadn’t had a suicidal thought in years. He hoped the Scientist wouldn’t do anything. He had lost everyone, Loki, Father, Mother, now Bruce.  
A particularly strong blast of lightning struck the room as a sob erupted from Thor’s throat. “Fuck!” he screamed.  
“Language,” Steve said as he entered the gym, laying eyes on the destroyed equipment. “I know how ya feel. I lost my best friend and my husband. We have no idea where Tony is, if he survived. Where’s Bruce?”  
“Gone. He left me, Steve. Because of my stupid fucking mouth. I told him I wished Thanos had snapped him away!”  
‘Well, shit’ Steve thought. “Why the hell did you say that?”  
“I don’t know! But he’s gone, he’s fucking gone! Get him the fuck back!” Steve could tell the training room was going to be singed soon, so he called Bruce’s phone. It rang. No answer.  
“Hey, it’s Bruce and Thor! Please leave a message!” A fresh sob left Thor’s mouth.  
“Okay, uh. I’ll call Nat! She can track him down!” Steve said.  
“Hello, Steve?” Natasha asked as soon as she picked up.  
“Thor just had a big fight with Bruce…”  
“Yeah, I heard. I’m already following him.”  
“Well, damn, okay. Stay on the line? I just want him safe!” Thor frowned. 

Bruce got out of his Uber at what looked like an abandoned Motel. Guess the owners got snapped. He went to a room, not noticing the redhead trailing. Natasha, meanwhile, entered the room opposite Bruce’s, which had a window pointing at his. She could look straight in.  
Bruce checked his phone. A missed call from Steve. He sighed, seeing it had no message. If it had been Steve, it would have had a lengthy response. Fuck Thor.  
Bruce watched TV for a few hours, the news channels still broadcasting stories from survivors of the mysterious decimation. Stories from sudden widows, scared orphans. Would Thor miss him? Bruce doubted it after the argument, seeing as Thor already wished him dead.  
Bruce cried himself to sleep that night. When he awoke from a nightmare of the decimation, he pulled out the pistol. Would the Big Guy come out if he shot himself? 

Nat watched as Bruce stirred, screaming for the snapped victims to come back. She watched as he pulled the gun from his bag and aimed it at his chest. She watched as he pulled the trigger.  
“Hello, 911? I need an ambulance at Lakeview Motel, a man just shot himself. Please, hurry! He’s my friend!”

Bruce winced as the gun recoiled, his hand jerking upwards, so the bullet entered his shoulder instead of his chest. Maybe he could still die, since the place was abandoned. Die from infection, maybe, or lead poisoning.  
He passed out from pain a few seconds later, before the ambulance could arrive. He was rushed into surgery to extract the bullet, it somehow lodging itself into his shoulder. 

Thor got the news immediately after Nat got off the phone, he too had nightmares, of everyone close to him dying: Odin, Frigga, Loki, Heimdall, Bruce. He rushed to see his boyfriend (was Bruce still his boyfriend?) at once. 

Bruce blinked as he once again woke up in a hospital. “Bruce!” Thor yelled, rushing over to hug the man. “You idiot! Don’t ever leave me again!”  
“Thor, I’m so sorry,” Bruce cried. “Please, forgive me. I was pissed off.”  
“No, Bruce, I’m sorry for telling you to die. You don’t deserve it, if anything I do, for letting that damn purple Titan to escape. Fortunately, we found him. And Tony! As soon as you get out, we’re killing that bastard. Properly. I won’t let you escape from me again.” Bruce winced as Thor trapped him in one of his bone-crushing hugs, brushing up against his gunshot wound.  
5\. Thor- 2023  
Thor opened another bottle of beer. What number was it? 5th? 6th? Whatever it was, he chugged it before returning to his game.  
He paused as a knock resonated throughout the small shack. “Ugh, it’s probably the fucking cable guys. About damn time,” he slurred as he went to grab another beer.  
“Hello, Thor?” says a familiar voice.  
“Are you here about the cable? Cinemax went out too weeks ago, sports are all kinda fuzzy,” he trailed off.  
“Thor?” the voice says again. Thor turns around to see the Rabbit and his old lover.  
“Holy shit, it’s so nice to see you! C’mere you little rascal!” Thor chuckles as he hugs Bruce, then Rocket. “Y’know my friends Korg and Miek?”  
“Long time no see,” Bruce replies.  
“Beer’s in the bucket, feel free to log onto the Wifi, no password, obviously,” Korg cheers. “Thor, he’s back, the kid in the TV just called me a dickhead again.”  
“Noobmaster,” Thor narrows his eyes.  
“Yeah, Noobmaster69.”  
“Hey, Noobmaster, it’s Thor again.” Thor screams into the headset. “Y’know, the God of Thunder? If you don’t log off this game immediately, I’m gonna fly over to your house, come down to whatever basement you’re hiding in, rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, go cry to your father you little weasel!”  
“Thank you, Thor!” Korg says as he takes the headset back.  
‘What the hell?’ Bruce thinks as he takes in the encounter. Thor offers them alcohol, to which he refuses. What had happened? Ever since Thor had killed Thanos 5 years previously, he had been distant, eventually moving to New Asgard. Bruce had had little communication with the God, he wasn’t even sure if they were still dating.  
“Thor, you asshole! No communication, then we find you drinking yourself to death and threatening kids! You used to be ripped, now you look like, you...”  
“You look like melted ice cream!” Rocket exclaims.  
“Buddy, we need your help! There may be a chance we can fix everything.”  
“Like the cable?” Thor belches.  
“Like Thanos.” Bruce clears up. Thor’s demeanor changes. He puts a hand on Bruce’s shoulder while the other points threateningly.  
“Don’t ever say that name,”  
“Yeah, we actually don’t say that name,” Korg calls.  
“Listen, I know that guy scares you,” Bruce says calmly.  
“Why would I be scared of that guy? I’m the one who killed that guy! Remember? Did anyone else kill that guy? Nope, didn’t think so. All right, you go tell everybody who chopped Thanos’ big head off!”  
“Uh, Stormbreaker?”  
“But who was swinging Stormbreaker?” Thor retorts.  
“Listen, I know you’re in a rough spot,” Bruce explains. “I was there myself. Suicide attempt after attempt. But y’know who snapped me out of it?”  
“Uh, Natasha?” Thor guesses.  
“It was you. You helped me. Whenever I got out of the Hospital, you cheered me up. And I’m gonna do the same with you.”  
“I’m worthless, Bruce! Why don’t you ask anyone else!” Bruce recalls himself saying very similar words.  
“Thor, we can bring everyone back!”  
“You don’t need me, no one needs me!” the God cries. “I’m a horrible king. Now, please let me drink myself to death, what good can a fat drunk like myself do?”  
“You know enough about the stones to get them back! You had firsthand experience with the Reality Stone!”  
“And, there’s beer on the ship!” Rocket adds. 

It took a few months after they planned the Time Heist to actually build the machine. Thor had several depressive episodes during this time, several times he got drunk enough to pass out, even on the weak Midgardian alcohol. But eventually, the Time Machine got built and the surviving Avengers rounded up the stones.  
Thor got to speak with his mum, got back Mjolnir, got closure. Then, he got back half the world. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get Loki back, throwing him into another small episode.  
His mum’s advice carried through to him. After a brief stint with the Guardians, he returned to Earth, ate a salad, and stopped drinking. Hi ripped physique made a return slowly but surely. But still, he was unhappy. Unhappy that if he had just killed Thanos in the first place, he could have prevented this whole mess. 

Thor and Bruce sat on the couch of their apartment in New York, watching a film Quill had raved on about, Footloose. Thor loved it; Bruce sat amused at Thor’s excitement. The couple fell asleep at the end of the film still cuddling.  
Darkness. Thor was powerless, a mortal, not unlike the time he had been banished on Earth so many years ago. He had been young and foolish, arrogant. Back then, everyone was alive.  
Thanos chuckled as Thor tried again and again to throw his axe at the Mad Titan. “You fool, Odinson. Come to me or meet the same fate your brother did.” Loki appeared, though only for a moment until Thanos took him in his large, purple fist and choked the life out of him, again and again, as Thor struggled to lift Stormbreaker. Then, Thanos shifted to Bruce’s form, ranting about how Thor was just a stupid God who couldn’t kill Thanos. Bruce took the axe and decapitated himself.  
Thor awoke with a sob. He summoned his axe to him and stood up at once. Standing in front of the mirror, he saw not his own reflection, but his past self: fat and drunk, with a messy beard and unkempt hair.  
“Thor? You okay?” Bruce called apprehensively.  
“Stupid, fat fool!” Thor cried as he destroyed the mirror. Then, he turned the axe on himself. “I am a failure. Hello, Loki, Mum, Father, Heimdall, I am returning. Goodbye, my love.” He plunged the axe into his own chest, as he had done to Thanos on the day of the snap. As Thanos had done to him on the Battlefield that was once the Avengers Compound.  
“Thor!” Bruce yelled. “Baby, wake up! Shit!” he dialed 911, tears rushing down his cheeks. Now he knew how his friends felt every time he had tried to kill himself. 

Thor woke up with stitches forming a line along the middle of his chest briefly after he returned from Valhalla, where he talked to his parents and the other fallen Asgardians. Tony had also been there, ranting about how it “wasn’t your god damn time, Point Break!”  
“You died, Thor! Shit, I was a mess. Now I know how you felt every time I almost offed myself! Never fucking do that again!” Bruce yelled.  
“I won’t, my love. I already spoke to my loved ones on Valhalla. It isn’t my time. I wish to grow old with you. We were never able to succeed because we weren’t together. A true warrior’s death is when you are surrounded by the ones you love. I wish to marry you, then, thousands of years down the line, enter Valhalla ready to guide new warriors. I may not be King of Asgard, but I wish to make you feel like Royalty. I have always been Prince Thor, but I would like another to rule. When Brunhilde steps down, will you, my love, be the King Bruce to my King Thor?”  
“As long as neither of us tries to kill ourselves again, I do.”

Bruce and Thor wed in New Asgard a few months later, when Thor, having spoke to his ancestors, finally felt ready to lead his people. With his parents and Loki there in spirit, looking down at the Kings from Valhalla, Thor was finally ready to be the man he was destined to be, with his lover next to him. The Kings of Asgard, both survivors of suicide, were each other’s Saviors.


End file.
